Essentials · Health · Lifestyle · Personal

My Summer Essentials

Hello lovelies! I honestly cannot believe that it’s Summer already. It’s June which is crazy as it only feels like it was Christmas yesterday! I have a lot of different essentials for different seasons but they seem to change every year depending on what the weather is like and what my health is like. This Summer I will be in the last trimester of my pregnancy so it’s going to be tough! These are My Summer Essentials!


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Blogmas · Health · Lifestyle · Personal

Living With A Stammer

Hello my lovelies! As part of Blogmas, I really wanted to give you some more personal posts and this is one thing that I’ve never talked about before publicly, and I honestly think I should. I had a really bad stammer , it’s still here sometimes. Just thought that I would give you more of an insight into Living With A Stammer!


What is a Stammer?

A stammer is where your speech is filled with involuntary pauses, blocks and/or reputations. You basically know what to say but when you try and talk, the words hit a wall and refuse to come out.

My Life with a Stammer?

After hearing stories I think I know what caused my stammer. When I was just learning to walk and talk, I got really sick. Like when I say really sick, I was crazily sick. I was having fits etc and had to be in hospital. I was just learning to walk and talk. I do believe the trauma of that incident had caused my stammer when I was doing research about it online and talking to other people.

I’ve had a stammer since I could walk. I don’t remember much when I was younger other than being bullied for it – which I don’t blame the kids as I was in Junior Infants to Second Class. After Second Class, I got so caged in and honestly didn’t know how to handle my stammer. I was so frustrated and honestly it made me feel like crap.

I was always trying to talk ( I’m the type of person that could talk for Ireland ) but it would never come out. It would take me three to four times at a time to just get one or two words out. It was so disheartening. I was doing Speech Therapy for years and I still remember going to it in Dublin and seeing the doctors. Speech Therapy was hard – I could pronounce a number of different sounds or works like K,C or the word hospital was the main word for me.

I used to be so nervous so read or even speak in class as people would laugh when I couldn’t read an extract from the book. It was so disheartening and I’m honestly shocked over the way people reacted.

When I turned 16 years old, something just happened over that Halloween. I was away with my family and some family friends. My stammer is eased off as I learned to slow down my talking and take breathes – which was critical. I was so surprised and how quickly I noticed a change.

I still am nervous reading out loud or even talking to people at first because of my stammer but now I’ve learned to not be ashamed of it, and realized it’s a part of me which won’t change. I also really only stammer when I get nervous or talk really fast now which is amazing.

Do you know anyone with a stammer or do you have one yourself?

Love, Bee ox


Blogging · Blogmas · Health · Lifestyle · Personal

Giving The Benefit Of The Doubt

Hello my lovelies! I really don’t like to be negative on this blog but everything that’s happened over the past 2 weeks – needs to talk about. Before I get into it, we did give the person in question The Benefit Of The Doubt! I have had enough of it and really needs to be talked about.


Part One

So a little while ago I started a blogger group chat on Twitter with a number of different girls who we got on so well with. One day some of us was reading through a blog and realized that something wasn’t right. We then took the first paragraph and copied it into Google – Nigella Lawsons blog came up straight away. I posted in the group chat ” Guys, I’ve found someone that’s plagiarized all of there blog ” and this person kept on saying ” who? ” every time I commented on it. I then said ” We’re giving this person a chance to delete all the content off the blog before we went public ” and she goes ” I hardly post anymore am just so demotivated “. At this point we gave her ten minutes after announcing it and the content wasn’t gone.

We said that we knew it was her and we weren’t impressed as it’s not fair on anyone. She then apologized and said that it was bullying that caused her to copy posts. The person in question also said that she would NEVER do it again which we all believed.

Part 2

Lets fast forward to 2 weeks later. We noticed that she put up more content, 2 posts were her own but 3 posts didn’t seem to be hers. We then searched it all and some came from Superdrug, Not On The High Street and someones personal blog. This is where we took things further and contacted companies. We then put up a Tweet about her when this all started – before her new post went up which was from NOTH! We got a lot of backlash but it was needed. She then decided to block me everywhere. Follow onto the next morning, we seen the post from NOTH!

We had messaged Superdrug about it and now they’re investigating it – thank god! Now waiting on a response from NOTH! She has now since, hidden her Twitter profile, took everything off her blog and a few other things.

Point Of The Post

The point of this post is to show you that we gave her the benefit of the doubt and then she did the exact same thing two weeks later. I have named the person on my Twitter so you will have to check it out.

Love, Bee ox

BEDN · Health · Lifestyle · Personal · Uncategorized

Aspergers & Me

Hello my lovelies! I have been wanting to do this post for so long but have never had the guts to do it. I have talked before about having Aspergers but not in detail. This is something that I do think needs more airtime and people need to know more about it as there’s so much that people don’t actually know. All of the details I’ve got for this post is off the Autism Ireland Website.


What is Aspergers?

Aspergers Syndrome (AS) is apart of the Autistic Spectrum and is a complex brain disorder. People that are effected normally have an IQ in the normal range but have poor communication and social skills. Common characteristics include the following : lack of empathy, little ability to form relationships, one-sided conversations and an intense absorption with special interest. Sometimes people with AS can be clumsy however people with Aspergers can live full and productive lives.

 Symptoms of Aspergers

  • Don’t pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills.
  • Dislike any change to routine.
  • Appear to lack empathy.
  • Talk a lot but about stuff that they’re interested in.
  • Avoid eye contact.
  • Have unusual facial expressions and postures.
  • Have delayed motor development.
  • Have heightened sensibility.

Disclaimer : Not everyone with Aspergers will show every single sign and everyone can be different in the levels of each they have.

Aspergers & Myself

Social Interaction : I find socializing with people in person so hard. Even though I can talk non stop, it’s still super hard for me to talk without being nervous or having anxiety. I really don’t get on with anyone my age, I tend to get on with people younger or older than myself which isn’t a bad thing. I also find it so hard to find it hard to keep friends, as they either find me too much or weird.

Communication : I take peoples words quite literally and some of the times, it does hurt even though people don’t mean it in that way. I’m the type of person who likes to communicate more online with people than talk face to face to them. I just find it easier to communicate online, than in person.

Imagination : My imagination can run riot quite a lot but it’s something that I have reeled in a lot as it is something that effected my life for ages. I couldn’t really tell which was real or which was fake – it just wasn’t black or white to me.

Anxiety : I have really bad anxiety and I do panic a lot which is down to AS. Once I get something in my head, I panic and can’t keep myself relaxed. I tend to get inside my head a little bit too much. It is something that I have been working on.

What I Love About Aspergers?

These are just the traits that I am proud of that I’ve got from having Aspergers Syndrome.

  • Reliable : I am always on time, punctual (maybe too punctual sometimes) and dependable.
  • Commitment : I am committed to things once I get something in my head. I am the type of person that would do most of the work, if i could.
  • Recall : I am so good at remembering facts and recalling them to people – It’s not useful facts but they are facts that do come in handy every now and again.

I’m hoping this post has thought you something in a way in relation to Aspergers Syndrome. I used to be so ashamed of having AS but now I know that it makes me, me!

Do you know much about Aspergers? Did you learn anything while reading this blog post? Let me know in the comments below.

Love, Bee ox


Health · Lifestyle · Personal

A Year Since Last Hospital Stay

Hey lovelies! I honestly didn’t think that I would make it to a year without being in hospital for my migraines or stomach issues but I have made it and I’m super proud even though I’m still suffering. I may be a year after the last stay I had in hospital but I’m not well and it’s something that I do think I should write about. I am starting from the beginning so you can see what has gone on!


February and March 2015

At some stage in February 2015 – I was severely ill with cramping, dizzy spells and vomiting a lot. I went to my GP a number of times and each time, she sent me to Accident and Emergency as I had suspected appendicitis. I say in February, I visited the local Accident and Emergency around four times. They did scans, blood tests and even examined me thoroughly – no doubt they missed something. I was sent home three out of four times as they had no clue what was wrong. I was in agony, couldn’t walk in a straight line or even keep food down. It was like someone was stabbing my sides constantly.

After going into Accident and Emergency three times already, they decided to keep me in the fourth time. They did more blood tests, scans and kept me fasting. Nothing came back on the scan, so they decided to do Key Hole Surgery. I was in Accident and Emergency for two days while fasting and then I was brought up into a ward. On the ward, I was fasting for another day and then at 11pm that night I was brought up for surgery.

While operating, they found a ruptured cyst on my ovary and took out my appendix. They couldn’t do anything for the cyst as it had already burst and it was something that every women has but they don’t always cause a problem. On the note of them taking my appendix out, there was NOTHING wrong with it – they took it out to prevent future problems which I got but found it weird.

I was out of the surgery and had a bad allergic reaction to Morphine – high temperature and I was vomiting my guts up (at least I know that I’ll never be a heroine addict). I was vomiting up that much stuff which caused me to have a hiatus hernia which is right on the valve in between my stomach and my Esophagus – I found this out three months later as I finally went to the doctor about it as I thought it was a tumor, like anyone else would.


2015 to 2016

I was let out of hospital 2 days after my operation. I went home with 15 staples altogether – they said they were going to stitch me up but didn’t. During the surgery, they pumped me with this gas so they could get around my organs without damaging them and said the bloat should go within a couple of days. I recovered quite quick from the surgery itself – I went to work on St Patricks Day!

After waiting two weeks, I noticed the swelling never went down and I was back in agony. I had no idea what it was. I went to visit my GP and she sent me back into hospital. The doctors just said that it was my body healing and the bloat should go down soon.

Two months later, I was still in agony in my side, bloat never went and I couldn’t even press on my stomach because it was so sore. I went back into hospital, I had a CT Scan which showed up clear and so did my Ultrasound – doctors had no clue (I haven’t included a lot of detail of other hospital trips into this as it was basically the same thing).

January 2016 the day after New Years, I went back into hospital and this time I wasn’t going to let them do nothing as my life was affected. I was still in agony, on a lot of tablets and couldn’t live my life. I went and had an Endoscopy which is a camera down my throat to the start of my intestines – that was all clear other than my Hernia and having Gastritis which a lot of people have anyway.

I had a number of different visits between January 2016 and November 2016. I had a lot more Ultrasounds and three more CT Scans which was a lot of radiation for someone my age.

Come November 2016, I was fed up and in tears as it wasn’t a life that I want to live. I was healthy up until I turned twenty one years old and until that operation happened. I was in hospital for two and a half weeks. I had another CT Scan, Ultrasounds and an MRI as they had no clue what else to do.  They were all clear so they had nothing else to do. They ” officially ” diagnosed me with IBS with a query of scar tissue. They put me on the FODMAP Diet which was useless as it didn’t help. They also put me on the waiting list for another key hole surgery and a colonoscopy.


The Present Day

I’m still not well, I still have my off days and the bloat hasn’t gone. I have very bad pains when I press down on my stomach – which isn’t normal. All of my symptoms are definitely not IBS as it wouldn’t affect my life this much. I haven’t heard from any of the waiting lists that I’m on. It’s been a year of hearing nothing. When I left hospital the last time, the doctors and nurses told me to not come back as there was nothing else that they could do for me. None of the surgeons or Gastric Doctors want to take responsibility of me being ill.

I have lost hope. The waiting lists shouldn’t be this long, the health system is a joke. My life has been altered because they took out my Appendix when there was nothing at all wrong with it and has caused me to be extremely ill.

Love, Bee ox